I just worked out a thing about myself which may go some way to also understanding several of my friends, acquaintances and business associates. This revelation can be compressed into a simple sentence which, obviously, me being me, I shall then expand upon at length in the form of a rant. It's what I do and this, I guess, is the point.
Creative people are difficult.
There, I said it. We're difficult. Let me explain (I warned you!).
For the last few weeks I have been required to work extended hours to achieve certain goals that have been thrust upon me by my employers. Usually I only have to work 20 hours per week under relatively stress free conditions for an (almost) exorbitant rate which nets me more income than a lot of people have to work 40 hours to match. It's a doddle. However, as the hours have grown, so has my temper. This afternoon I had my boss promising to buy me a bottle of Scotch as a reward for just doing my job. I had become so scary that he thought the promise of free alcohol was the only thing that would calm me down.
Now, I like the idea that I can scare people because I genuinely think that I'm among the least threatening beings on the planet. But then I finished work, came home and found myself thinking about it, over a good deal of the very substance offered to me earlier, and I realised what I like to call... "A Thing".
This must be the very reason why I have worked alone in my own home or rented private office since the age of about 28. I'm actually not fit to work and play with others. It's the way I function: pressure + stress = anger + shouting. What I realised today is that this is what I need to do in order to be creative under pressure. It has nothing to do with the task in hand, it has nothing to do with the people who are dumping this annoying shit in my in-tray all day. It's not personal. There is simply a direct correlation between what is required to be done and the amount of shouting that is necessary for me to be able do it.
I'm sure there's a link between creativity and anger. Another day, when it's not after midnight and I don't need to be back at work in less than 8 hours, I might do some research and add some statistics and/or facts to my postulation but, alas, it's time for bed.